“Marriage…is ordained of God… God has commanded that the
sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman,
lawfully wedded as husband and wife… Marriage between a man and a woman is
essential to His eternal plan.”
From
the beginning male and female existed; Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden at
first but soon was given a woman. Moses 3:18 states that it was not food that
man should be alone; wherefore I will make a help meet for him.” Paul taught in
Corinthians that “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman
without the man, in the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:11). The world today sees
marriage in a different light then it was before, the path to marriage has
changed. The purpose of my post is to share some insights on how young people
can plan and prepare and move towards marriage.
Lance
B Wickman has said that “one of the most significant confidence tests of
mortality is usually faced in the young-adult season of life. It is the
decision to marry. No decision is approached with greater trepidation by this
generation of young adults? I will share some pitfalls of dating and ways young
people can find their path to eternal marriage.
Pitfall
#1-The Erosion of Traditional Dating and Courtship
Courtship
is a time for people to get acquainted, it is a time to learn about the other
person, what are their interests and goals, hopes and dreams. The world has
slowly shifted from dating to just merely hanging out-these are not the same
thing. Dallin H Oaks has said “Simple and more frequent dates allow both men
and women to ‘shop around’ in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the
prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a
member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see
how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave
opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None
of that happens in hanging out.” There is a ton of pessimism about marriage
that brings with it a need to test out a relationship before marriage. Couples
are more and more living together before marriage; studies have shown that this
in fact does not lead to greater happiness or less divorce if married after the
initial cohabitation.
Pitfall
#2-Approach to Dating: Becoming a Right Person for Marriage
Many
times a person approaches dating with a checklist of what to look for in a
mate; sometimes this checklist deters us from progressing. They are looking for
“the right one”. I do not believe there is such thing as the right one or a
soulmate. David A Bedar said that “the list is not for evaluating someone
else—the list is for you and what you need to become…you are not on a shopping
spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics. You
become what you hope your spouse will be and you'll have a greater likelihood
of finding the right person." What are you doing in your lives to be the
right person?
Pitfall
#3-Social Perspective on Marriage Readiness
What
are some character and traits of a happily married couple? I will share two
that I feel are important. They are the ability to love and the ability to
communicate. These are two things that I am not great at and things that I want
to be better at in my life. I wish that I would have cultivated these
attributes in my life in adolescence and young adulthood. Love is defined as
“the ability to be emotionally available to self and others, especially in
times of need.” I have always associated love with others but it really begins
with ourselves; just as stated in Matthew 22 verse 39 “…thou shalt love thy
neighbor as thyself.” Communication is also key.
Pitfall
#4-Finding a Choice Eternal Companion
Marriage
is important; it is part of God’s eternal plan. Gordon B. Hinckley has said
that “the most important decision you will ever make” is finding your eternal
companion. He said that “it will influence your life from now through all
eternity.”
I
will close with a quote from Jeffrey R Holland. “Do you want capability,
safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a
true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day
Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because
it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Jesus Christ, the
Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path
of love and happiness. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way ‘never
faileth.’”
I
know that marriage is ordained of God and finding your eternal companion is one
of the greatest choices you will make.
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