Faith in Marriage

What is faith? Faith is believing in something that you have not seen. Dictionary.com defines faith as confidence of trust in a person or thing and a belief that is not based on proof. The Latter-day Saint bible dictionary defines faith as a hope for things which are not seen, but which are true. This faith must be centered in Jesus Christ in order to produce salvation. In the Book of Mormon a prophet by the name of Alma teaches some people who are poor and humble. He teaches them about faith and how “faith is a hope in that which is not seen which is true.” Faith is a principle of action and of power and although faith is a gift, it must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to a great tree.

I love this imagery; I can just picture a little seed that is trying to grow; if it is not nourished it will never take root and spout; but even after it has started to grow, it must be nourished or it will die.  You can read more about this in Alma chapter32. Just as the seed needs constant nourishment, the same thing needs to happen in marriage. The way we treat our spouse can have such a profound influence on weather a marriage nourished or wilts. 

In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; Gottman shares how small little moments in marriage matter. He calls these moments “bids” for attention. Couples need to be aware when these moments occur. They can occur at anytime; they can be as small as asking for help with some chores or as major as big life decisions. Gottman also talks about how important it is to turn towards our partner instead of away. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I know there have been times in my marriage when selfishness gets in the way of sacrifice. I think we could all do a little better at being more aware of others needs especially our spouse. I know for me; I can pick up on those “bids” mentioned above and I can stay tuned and turn towards my spouse and not away or against!!! 
 

Bruce Hafen in a book titled Covenant Hearts mentioned how important communication is in marriage. He said “Communicate. Say what you’re thinking, in a kind way. Don’t make the other person read your mind, and don’t let unspoken things build up until some event triggers a reaction that’s out of proportion”. I am guilty of this; sometimes I just assume since I told my spouse numerous times what I like, it does not necessarily mean that he will remember every time. Instead of letting something fester, I could easily just ask for help. Sometimes pride gets in the way and it never leads to a good outcome. I love how he said that we are not only to communicate but communicate in a kind way. No matter what I think, my spouse will never really be able to read my mind and really, how easy is it to ask for help.
 
I know that faith in marriage is important. Marriage is a big giant leap of faith; or at least it has been for me. I know it’s important to keep nourishing our faith and our marriage through small daily connections.  

References

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/faith?s=t.
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bd/faith.
Hafen, B.C (2012) Covenant hearts: why marriage matters and how to make it last. Deseret Book Company