Pride in Marriage

What is pride and why does it affect so many people.  Dictionary.com defines pride as a “feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” The Latter-day Saint bible dictionary defines pride as a “lack or absence of humility or teachableness. Pride sets people in opposition to each other and to God. A proud person sets himself above those around him and follows his own will rather than God’s will. Conceit, envy, hardheartedness, and haughtiness are also typical of a proud person.”

Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. (Benson, 1989) Have you ever thought to yourself im right and your wrong? I know I am guilty of this. Pride will affect most of us in our lives. Pride in any relationships can be harmful but pride in marriage can be detrimental. If couples are living in pride; they esteem themselves above the other. Pride threatens intimacy and can be the downfall of what could be a successful marriage. We live at a time and in a society where people want to be acknowledged; their voice wants to be heard and where pride is rampant. Below is an insert from Benson's talk on Pride!!!

 

I love this poem about pride by Beth Monroe. It just gives such a great imagery of what pride can do:

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny…because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment…because you “deserve better than this.”
I cheat you of knowledge…because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing…because you’re too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness…because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong.
I cheat you of vision…because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of a genuine friendship…because nobody’s going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love…because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven…because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.
I cheat you of God’s glory…because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you. Untrue. I’m looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…If you stick with me You’ll never know.

How do we protect and prevent pride from encompassing our lives?

Humility is the key; and going along with that is repentance and forgiveness. H Wallace Goddard has said that “God will have a humble people. Either we will choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. Let us choose to be humble.” (Goddard) Marriages will flourish when there is humility.

I love what the Proclamation to the family says about couples in marriage. It is a great example of this for me. It talks about the different roles of husband and wives but then it gives this awesome statement. Couples are to help one another as equal partners. John Gottman in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work talks about how it is important for couples to be influenced by each other. I agree with this; couples who are helping each other, who are giving 100%, will be able to keep pride at bay

Ezra Taft Benson has said that “pride is concerned with who is right, humility is concerned with what is right.” I love this. The cure to pride is humility. I know that it is sometimes easy for pride to knock at our door and enter our lives, but it is important to do all we can to prevent this. Though humility, forgiveness and repentance, we can do so. I know that forgiveness is not easy but it is important.  I know that lack of forgiveness can be devastating to a marriage. I know that I want my marriage to succeed and all these things will be able to help me and all of us as we navigate this journey of life.

References :

Dictionary.com
LDS Bible Dictionary
Gottman, J.M and Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Harmony Books (and imprint of the crown publishing group)
Goddard. H.W (2007) Drawing heaven into your marriage. Fairfax: Meridian Publishing
Monroe Beth “Praying God’s Word: Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds.”
Benson, E.T (1989) Beware of pride. Ensign. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng&_r=1